igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
I uploaded the final chapter of "High City on a Hill" to FFnet, where it sank with a resounding silence. In the course of a week (as of last Friday) the new chapter 15 had received a grand total of twelve page-views, as had chapter 14; of those twelve, three people apparently went back and reread the whole thing from the start. On AO3, the stats registered 32 hits on the story as a whole (a similar number to those who clicked on chapter 1 after the update on FFnet and evidently clicked straight off again without skipping to the new chapter...)

No comments, no favourites, no follows, no kudos. So much for that project...
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)

Finally, the final chapter.


Chapter 15 — Epilogue

It had been raining all night, summer squalls lashing against the long windows, on the morning that my son was born. Now, when those hours of travail were finally over, the skies had cleared with the dawn. The sun greeted a world made fresh and new, and slipped in to lie bright across the foot of the bed, and I would not have the drapes pulled. Let the furnishings fade, just for today, if the room could be lapped in this joyous tide of light.

I lay back on the clean pillows, utterly drained but triumphant. Both the baby and I had been washed, dressed and made presentable. Now the early sunlight slid across the coverlet. Outside the window, as if by magic, the dusty roofs and treetops had been reborn, and here within, my son slept in his nurse’s arms, tiny, crumpled and miraculous.Read more... )

igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
I picked up a random (well, not completely random, because it was someone I'd critiqued during one of my attempts at catching up on fanfiction.net) review on my "Tale of Two Cities" one-shot: fandom-blind FFnet reviews )

And then a comment on a snippet I posted to a writer's group on Facebook (you are allowed to post 500 words every Wednesday, so I've been drip-feeding them bits of Hertha as 'work in progress' in the hopes of maybe gaining a 'like' or two -- it sometimes happens):
That's some very fine writing, and I am very hard to impress. What is the genre, may I ask?

Which more or less confirms my instinct that the only chance for Arctic Raoul is *outside* the fan-fiction ghetto; people like my writing for its own sake when they are not actually fans of the source material, but it just doesn't fit into the whole ring-fenced ethos of fandom :-(
Read more... )
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)

This needs to be the climax to the whole story and hit like a hammer, and after quite a lot of tweaking I'm still not sure that it does. (Or that the thought-process behind Hertha's final conclusion is clear, which is something that was worrying me when I originally wrote this section, over a year ago -- I see that I have just been through exactly the same process of trying to fit more explanation into the ending of the chapter and then taking it all out again because it wasn't working!)

This is the scene that I was envisaging from the start as the main point of the story, and it's just got to work...


Chapter 14 — “Tell Him How You Feel”

It was from Christine Daaé that I heard the true story of what happened that night — Christine Daaé, bedraggled and defiant in the great salon at the Hôtel Chagny, and still wearing the remains of the white dress into which the Ghost had forced her in a mockery of marriage. She had both hands braced on the back of the couch on which Raoul lay; the doctor had been, and gone, and left behind a sedative draught which she had refused to take, just as she had mutely shaken her head at the offer of more seemly clothing. But the Vicomte, his principal patient, had submitted in exhaustion to the doctor’s ministrations, and had now succumbed to a deep and most merciful slumber in front of a roaring fire in the salon, while his own bedchamber was being prepared. Read more... )

igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
Just finished rough-typing the first 3,000 words or so of the final confrontation between Hertha and Christine (up to the end of the third notebook; there are a few pages of overflow into another book). Reading this immediately after answering reviews on the final chapter of "The Daaé Case" rather highlights the fact that I've reused the trope (and pretty much the same wording!) of the one character protesting that Raoul ought to be be 'told' something for his own good, and the other one remaining insistent that he is better off not knowing... :-(

Given that the two scenes were written about five years apart, the echo was rather less obvious at the time of composition than when reading the chapters one after another, alas!
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
Chapter 13 of Hertha uploaded; I was hoping for a slightly more enthusiastic reception given that this is one of the major turning points of the story and people had actually been asking where the next chapter was, but it was as muted as usual.
Nearly finished now -- we just have the final confrontation (in this case between Hertha and Christine rather than between Christine and the Phantom!) and then the epilogue chapter.

Meanwhile I have typed Chapter 30 of Arctic Raoul, although I'm not all that happy with it. It's very much an 'in-between chapter' by its nature, since it covers the lengthy and fruitless search before they happen across Kulla; the C/R stuff, perhaps unsurprisingly, is quite good, but the 'action scene' I'd remembered is literally *two paragraphs* out of a four-thousand-word chapter, 150 words from "the pony threw up his head and bolted" to "a moment later it was all over"...


AO3 )

fanfiction.net )
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)

And *finally*... (six thousand-word chapters seem to be Just Too Long for me to cope with in terms of both proof-reading and editing)

Chapter 13 — “Past All Thought of Right or Wrong”

The echo of the gunshot from the auditorium, when it came, was flat and oddly distant, like the sound of some piece of stage machinery. If any of those around me in the foyer noticed it, they gave no sign. Read more... )

igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
I have been rigging up tomato-strings for the benefit of the towel-tomatoes (thus covering my hands with yellow -- I'd forgotten tomatoes did that!)Read more... )
The Demon Red chilli finally managed to outgrow its initial yoghurt-pot, and I have repotted it into a larger pot using compost retrieved from the various pots I have been emptying, including the gone-to-seed pak choi, from which I was able to harvest a little seed, but not nearly as much as I had been expecting (an awful lot of those seed pods turned out to be empty, and some of them were hosting caterpillars!)


AO3 offline )
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
Chapter 13 comes out in the end at 6,200 words; the longest chapter in the story, but I think it works. "Don Juan" is the action climax; Ch14 is the dramatic aftermath, and the epilogue is, well, the epilogue.

And what a chapter ending ;-)

and all the time the question was not whether I would lose my husband, but how: horribly and forever at the hands of the Opera Ghost, or into the arms of the girl for whom he would lay down his life. Who was ready to throw away her reputation and her future, if there was a chance that she could be with him.
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
I have actually been doing some typing on Ch13 of Hertha, trying to fix the horrifyingly paralysing issue of the gunshot in the flashback, the prospect of tackling which had kept me from so much as touching the manuscript for six months; I've succeeded in introducing a couple more allusions to the sound of the shot and pushed more bits of Hertha's narrative into the grammatically less ambiguous past-perfect tense as a result, which I think has *probably* patched the perceived problem sufficiently, although I shall need to run the result past somebody to check (probably [personal profile] meibruges again!) However, I have perhaps inevitably ended up starting work on this past midnight every day, due to chronic procrastination -- the only reason why I have got round to it at all, really, is that I have now reached a stage where all the *other* tasks queued up are those that feel even less inviting, so that this now becomes an escape mechanism rather than a thing to be escaped.

(It currently looks as if Ch13 is going to come out at around 6,000 words, which is a lot, but not actually any more than the existing Chapter 7 and Ch4...)

Chapter lengths:
Ch1: "Can it be Christine?"3551
Ch2: "We Can Make it Work"4754
Ch3: "As if Awoken from a Dream"3914
Ch4: "She Won't Thank You For It"6078
Ch5: "An Accident... Simply an Accident"4480
Ch6: "He'll Stop at Nothing"5402
Ch7: "It Will Be At Midsummer"6061
Ch8: "Why So Silent, Good Messieurs?"5105
Ch9: "Well-Beloved Wife"4242
Ch10: "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again"3616
Ch11: "You Betrayed Me"4845
Ch12: "I Need to See the End"3502
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
Thanks to not having finished typing "White Knight" (currently at 4800 words and counting, which is going to make either for a rather long one-shot or else for two fairly short chapters, à la Child of the Law) and having immediately started an Erik's-name-based story with the idea of fulfilling the Writers Anonymous What's in a Name? challenge before the end of May, I'm currently in the decidedly ludicrous situation of having four manuscripts on the go simultaneously -- one 'live', and the others finished but still unfinalised :-(

And Hertha has now not been updated for over six months, which is ridiculous given that the remaining (?three) chapters of the story were already finished over a year ago; it isn't the case that, as so often in fan-fiction, I lost impetus and stopped writing before reaching the intended climax. It has all been done. It just needs a little editing...
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)

The art exhibition scene and its follow-up turned out to feel rather less accomplished when I came to type the chapter up then I had remembered them in retrospect :-( And the forthcoming beginning of Chapter 13 is definitely going to need some work. I have adopted the classic approach of starting it 'with a bang', namely the sound of a gunshot, and then spending three pages of flashback explaining where and when Hertha is and how the characters got there, and upon rereading the result I don't think the readers are going to make the intended connection between Hertha sitting around and worrying in the foyer and the canonical shot that gets fired by mistake without any consequences in the auditorium just before the start of "Don Juan"...

narcissi )

Chapter 12 — “I Need to See the End”

It was full dark by the time we drew up in the Place Clignot-les-Pins. I had been expected back from the dressmaker’s hours earlier, and the household was in a state of suppressed tumult and concern. No-one had dared worry my mother with my absence —I was a married woman, after all, and not a child— but my father would be home imminently for dinner, and it was clear that nobody had been relishing the prospect of having to explain to him that I had gone out to Madame Walbroek’s establishment that afternoon and failed to return.

For my part I had no desire to talk about my encounter with the Ghost if it could be avoided, and I did not suppose Christine was in any hurry to introduce the subject either. Stories of sinister alluring figures in deserted graveyards could only sound like hysterical delusion at the best, or a lame excuse for some more culpable assignation.

I was tired, and hurting, and consumed by terrified guilt at what my reckless behaviour might cost, and how I would ever be able to tell Raoul. The last thing I wanted to do was to try to convince a parcel of servants of the whole improbable experience; I wanted a bed, and a doctor, and my mother’s arms, and if I could not have the latter then I would say whatever it took to get rid of the crowd of worried faces.

Read more... )
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)

Having an all-female graveyard scene definitely changes the dynamic here (and forces Christine to take a more active part)...


Chapter 11 — “You Betrayed Me”

It was, as I’d suspected, not “La Reine de Navarre” but the Ghost’s self-proclaimed opera “Don Juan Triumphant” that was under rehearsal. It was strange and monstrously difficult to sing, Christine explained, and hazarded a hesitant opinion that it was “no doubt very clever”, from which I was able to draw my own conclusions.

Read more... )
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
Rewrites: working on the graveyard scene to try to clarify and get the impact I wanted.

Original (after editing at time of writing) text:
Another fireball, this one hot enough to graze my cheek. If his aim shook enough, I thought I'd shaken his aim enough, perhaps, that he might kill me without even meaning it.
My knees gave way, and. I sank down, not gracefully but in a clumsy overbalanced fall. lurch, caught my heel against the kerbstone of a grave and fell sidelong with bruising force. A deep, griping pain ran through my belly, and a deeper pang of terror cut through swimming senses.


Current, supposedly final revision:Read more... )
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)

Chapter 9 of Hertha was possibly the least successful to date, having been posted for weeks on both fanfiction.net and AO3 and garnering a grand total of zero reviews on either :-( (Either my 'regular reviewers' didn't like the chapter, or else they were away -- I am fairly certain that the FFnet reviewer hasn't even read it, because her country wasn't showing up at all in the stats, and the sample size is so small that I can usually identify individual non-Americans...)

However despite the lack of incentive I did finish typing up and tweaking Chapter 10, in which Hertha ends up giving Christine a lift to her father's grave; I had some trouble splitting these scenes, so we've got half a chapter here and then the rest of the graveyard adventure in the next chapter.


Chapter 10 — “Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again”

I had grumbled over the chill and discomforts of Beauvais. It was hard to admit, even to myself, that my father’s familiar apartments on the Place Clignot-les-Pins seemed to have grown narrow and dark and constricted after the space and luxury I’d grown used to in the Hôtel Chagny as a Vicomte’s wife. Father was glad to see me, and grateful for the company, but there was a constraint between us that had not been there before, and my thickening body was only yet another reminder that I was no longer the girl who’d left this house for her wedding over a year ago.

The childhood books that had once held comfort were battered now and more shabby than I’d remembered, torn pages a sharp reminder of how Rudi and I had once squabbled over their possession. The French novels I’d been reading at nineteen, when I’d thought myself so sophisticated, had lost their glamour and revealed themselves as shallow and foolish or cynical by turns. My bedroom had not changed since last I lived here —though I shared it now, as I’d suspected, with an overflow of boxes from my father’s study that he’d failed to find space for elsewhere— but it felt as if it had belonged to someone else entirely.

Read more... )

igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
A total of 19 hits and zero reviews on "High City on a Hill" since I uploaded the new chapter, which is almost exactly equal to the 18 hits I got in the week after updating the previous chapter (and very likely the same people!)

But I did get another 2 guest-kudos, which by the nature of things presumably has to indicate fresh readers.

I still haven't even got round to making the trip to update the story on FFNet, at least partly because I keep telling myself I'm going to write those reviews for the other entrants in the Narrative Voices challenge... and not doing it. So I have no idea what the viewing stats are on the Sunset Boulevard story -- or even who the one person who apparently favourited it was, since the email alerts were broken at that point! I did get a lovely review from Mei Bruges, though (to which I still haven't replied either...)

[Edit: about 40 hits on FFnet, plus another unexpected review. I forgot to check on the favourite, though!]
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)

I sat down to try to write my long-overdue reviews on my fellow-competitors' stories for the Writers Anonymous challenge, having eventually succeeded in downloading them via the library for offline reading despite the worst that FFnet could do, but completely failed to do so -- however I have, instead, finally managed to finish typing up and checking the next chapter of Hertha back against the manuscript. And I have also -- as of September 2nd -- managed to complete the rewrite on Chapter 24 of Arctic Raoul (after three months of delay) and even got as far as typing up the first scene of Ch25, although I still have another two scenes comprising a total of 3,500 words or so to be typed. (Those chapters are definitely getting longer and longer, and it massively inflates the editing time because the prospect becomes so daunting...)


End of Phantom's Broadway run )

Chapter 9 — “Well-Beloved Wife”

As I’d anticipated, Raoul returned to follow me out almost before the carriage had been brought round. He looked tired and rather dispirited despite the splendour of his costume, and was disinclined to talk even once we were seated and driving back.

Madame Giry had been less than helpful, I gathered. She’d disclosed what she’d heard or guessed about the Ghost’s origins — a carnival freak and deformed genius who’d gone missing years before, evidently quitting the sideshow life to take up existence outside the law — but she’d said nothing of how she came to be delivering his notes, or of where he could be found, and Raoul was convinced she had to know more than she was telling.

“You know, carnival origins could explain quite a lot.” Despite myself, I found my interest caught. “Not least the use of mesmerism. And the oddly theatrical flair — this isn’t just lunacy, it’s an insane performance.”

Read more... )
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)

I went to the library to access FFnet (and retrieve some old PMs), and took the opportunity to download copies of the monthly and legacy stats pages for "High City on a Hill". When I got them home and tried to load the files, I discovered that all I had was a couple of Cloudflare pages displaying "fanfiction.net needs to review the security of your connection before proceeding"! I should have simply saved the HTML tables out as text, and reformatted the data back into table form myself...

However, from memory both sets of data confirmed a fairly consistent figure of about 30 hits taking place on every new chapter; there were also about six people who read all the chapters of the story this month, either in order to refresh their memories after the long gap in publication or because it was the first time they had come across the story. pasted stat tables )


AO3 )

In good -- indeed excellent -- news, I have actually managed to progress as far as rewriting the first few paragraphs of my 'flashback problem' chapter in Arctic Raoul, while taking the opportunity to tweak a few of the other bits of wording in that section, something that really ought to have been done at the initial typing-up/editing stage but which was put off due to my structural worries about the chapter. (I also managed to remove a reference to 'dawn'! -- only one, alas, of many in the preceding chapters...)

Mei Bruges suggested that maybe the principal problem with the chapter was not the existence of the flashback[s] as such, but the fact that the entire flashback takes place in the gap between a question and answer in the 'present-day' scene, and indeed immediately after the first line of dialogue in that scene, which means that it barely gets a chance to 'start' at all. So I am trying to rewrite the opening to the chapter to be a casual discussion of their surroundings rather than an unanswered inquisition on Christine, in the hopes that this new conversation will provide a more relaxed 'gap' for the flashback to take place in. Read more... )

But after completing the rewritten paragraphs, I found myself glancing backwards in the notebook I was using and rereading the final chapter of "High City on a Hill", which happens to be there. I enjoyed it; I think it does work, and works well. (Now I just have to get that far in the typing-up!)

igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)

Five- and six-thousand-word chapters are definitely not a good idea, from the point of view of getting them typed and proofread... Here at last is the Masquerade that should have been posted weeks ago.

Hertha's costume mask )


Chapter 8 — “Why So Silent, Good Messieurs?”

The great foyer of the Opera Populaire was filled with bright silks and fantastical costumes, as if some exotic stage production had spilled out from the auditorium and taken over the building with a cast of thousands. Masked figures were to be found gossiping in alcoves or pausing to exchange greetings on the grand staircase, and aging devils in tights and red horns danced together with angels whose wired wings were bobbing across plump shoulders beneath their haloes of gold foil. A Julius Caesar with a lopsided laurel wreath was conducting a flirtation with a demure Diana, who was fending off his attempts to lift her mask with reproving taps from the silver bow and quiver she bore. Waiters circulated amid the throng, and the orchestra ensconced in a corner behind red velvet ropes could be seen to refresh themselves from time to time in a less decorous fashion from brown bottles.

Read more... )

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