End of Hertha
20 January 2024 06:20 pmNo comments, no favourites, no follows, no kudos. So much for that project...
High City on a Hill (Ch 15)
8 January 2024 01:43 amFinally, the final chapter.
Chapter 15 — Epilogue
It had been raining all night, summer squalls lashing against the long windows, on the morning that my son was born. Now, when those hours of travail were finally over, the skies had cleared with the dawn. The sun greeted a world made fresh and new, and slipped in to lie bright across the foot of the bed, and I would not have the drapes pulled. Let the furnishings fade, just for today, if the room could be lapped in this joyous tide of light.
I lay back on the clean pillows, utterly drained but triumphant. Both the baby and I had been washed, dressed and made presentable. Now the early sunlight slid across the coverlet. Outside the window, as if by magic, the dusty roofs and treetops had been reborn, and here within, my son slept in his nurse’s arms, tiny, crumpled and miraculous.( Read more... )
Praise from unexpected sources
6 September 2023 10:45 pmAnd then a comment on a snippet I posted to a writer's group on Facebook (you are allowed to post 500 words every Wednesday, so I've been drip-feeding them bits of Hertha as 'work in progress' in the hopes of maybe gaining a 'like' or two -- it sometimes happens):
That's some very fine writing, and I am very hard to impress. What is the genre, may I ask?
Which more or less confirms my instinct that the only chance for Arctic Raoul is *outside* the fan-fiction ghetto; people like my writing for its own sake when they are not actually fans of the source material, but it just doesn't fit into the whole ring-fenced ethos of fandom :-(
( Read more... )
High City on a Hill (Ch14)
3 September 2023 07:22 pmThis needs to be the climax to the whole story and hit like a hammer, and after quite a lot of tweaking I'm still not sure that it does. (Or that the thought-process behind Hertha's final conclusion is clear, which is something that was worrying me when I originally wrote this section, over a year ago -- I see that I have just been through exactly the same process of trying to fit more explanation into the ending of the chapter and then taking it all out again because it wasn't working!)
This is the scene that I was envisaging from the start as the main point of the story, and it's just got to work...
Chapter 14 — “Tell Him How You Feel”
It was from Christine Daaé that I heard the true story of what happened that night — Christine Daaé, bedraggled and defiant in the great salon at the Hôtel Chagny, and still wearing the remains of the white dress into which the Ghost had forced her in a mockery of marriage. She had both hands braced on the back of the couch on which Raoul lay; the doctor had been, and gone, and left behind a sedative draught which she had refused to take, just as she had mutely shaken her head at the offer of more seemly clothing. But the Vicomte, his principal patient, had submitted in exhaustion to the doctor’s ministrations, and had now succumbed to a deep and most merciful slumber in front of a roaring fire in the salon, while his own bedchamber was being prepared. ( Read more... )
Reduplication
26 August 2023 02:32 amGiven that the two scenes were written about five years apart, the echo was rather less obvious at the time of composition than when reading the chapters one after another, alas!
Fic progress
16 July 2023 12:57 pmNearly finished now -- we just have the final confrontation (in this case between Hertha and Christine rather than between Christine and the Phantom!) and then the epilogue chapter.
Meanwhile I have typed Chapter 30 of Arctic Raoul, although I'm not all that happy with it. It's very much an 'in-between chapter' by its nature, since it covers the lengthy and fruitless search before they happen across Kulla; the C/R stuff, perhaps unsurprisingly, is quite good, but the 'action scene' I'd remembered is literally *two paragraphs* out of a four-thousand-word chapter, 150 words from "the pony threw up his head and bolted" to "a moment later it was all over"...
( AO3 )
( fanfiction.net )
High City on a Hill (Ch13)
12 July 2023 09:29 amAnd *finally*... (six thousand-word chapters seem to be Just Too Long for me to cope with in terms of both proof-reading and editing)
Chapter 13 — “Past All Thought of Right or Wrong”
The echo of the gunshot from the auditorium, when it came, was flat and oddly distant, like the sound of some piece of stage machinery. If any of those around me in the foyer noticed it, they gave no sign. ( Read more... )
Tomato strings
11 July 2023 08:50 amThe Demon Red chilli finally managed to outgrow its initial yoghurt-pot, and I have repotted it into a larger pot using compost retrieved from the various pots I have been emptying, including the gone-to-seed pak choi, from which I was able to harvest a little seed, but not nearly as much as I had been expecting (an awful lot of those seed pods turned out to be empty, and some of them were hosting caterpillars!)
( AO3 offline )
Rough-typed
3 July 2023 07:05 pmAnd what a chapter ending ;-)
and all the time the question was not whether I would lose my husband, but how: horribly and forever at the hands of the Opera Ghost, or into the arms of the girl for whom he would lay down his life. Who was ready to throw away her reputation and her future, if there was a chance that she could be with him.
Fic progress
2 July 2023 02:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
(It currently looks as if Ch13 is going to come out at around 6,000 words, which is a lot, but not actually any more than the existing Chapter 7 and Ch4...)
Chapter lengths: | |
---|---|
Ch1: "Can it be Christine?" | 3551 |
Ch2: "We Can Make it Work" | 4754 |
Ch3: "As if Awoken from a Dream" | 3914 |
Ch4: "She Won't Thank You For It" | 6078 |
Ch5: "An Accident... Simply an Accident" | 4480 |
Ch6: "He'll Stop at Nothing" | 5402 |
Ch7: "It Will Be At Midsummer" | 6061 |
Ch8: "Why So Silent, Good Messieurs?" | 5105 |
Ch9: "Well-Beloved Wife" | 4242 |
Ch10: "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" | 3616 |
Ch11: "You Betrayed Me" | 4845 |
Ch12: "I Need to See the End" | 3502 |
Massive backlog
9 May 2023 04:31 amAnd Hertha has now not been updated for over six months, which is ridiculous given that the remaining (?three) chapters of the story were already finished over a year ago; it isn't the case that, as so often in fan-fiction, I lost impetus and stopped writing before reaching the intended climax. It has all been done. It just needs a little editing...
High City on a Hill (Ch12)
8 December 2022 02:32 amThe art exhibition scene and its follow-up turned out to feel rather less accomplished when I came to type the chapter up then I had remembered them in retrospect :-( And the forthcoming beginning of Chapter 13 is definitely going to need some work. I have adopted the classic approach of starting it 'with a bang', namely the sound of a gunshot, and then spending three pages of flashback explaining where and when Hertha is and how the characters got there, and upon rereading the result I don't think the readers are going to make the intended connection between Hertha sitting around and worrying in the foyer and the canonical shot that gets fired by mistake without any consequences in the auditorium just before the start of "Don Juan"...
( narcissi )Chapter 12 — “I Need to See the End”
It was full dark by the time we drew up in the Place Clignot-les-Pins. I had been expected back from the dressmaker’s hours earlier, and the household was in a state of suppressed tumult and concern. No-one had dared worry my mother with my absence —I was a married woman, after all, and not a child— but my father would be home imminently for dinner, and it was clear that nobody had been relishing the prospect of having to explain to him that I had gone out to Madame Walbroek’s establishment that afternoon and failed to return.
For my part I had no desire to talk about my encounter with the Ghost if it could be avoided, and I did not suppose Christine was in any hurry to introduce the subject either. Stories of sinister alluring figures in deserted graveyards could only sound like hysterical delusion at the best, or a lame excuse for some more culpable assignation.
I was tired, and hurting, and consumed by terrified guilt at what my reckless behaviour might cost, and how I would ever be able to tell Raoul. The last thing I wanted to do was to try to convince a parcel of servants of the whole improbable experience; I wanted a bed, and a doctor, and my mother’s arms, and if I could not have the latter then I would say whatever it took to get rid of the crowd of worried faces.
( Read more... )High City on a Hill (Ch11)
14 November 2022 05:00 amHaving an all-female graveyard scene definitely changes the dynamic here (and forces Christine to take a more active part)...
Chapter 11 — “You Betrayed Me”
It was, as I’d suspected, not “La Reine de Navarre” but the Ghost’s self-proclaimed opera “Don Juan Triumphant” that was under rehearsal. It was strange and monstrously difficult to sing, Christine explained, and hazarded a hesitant opinion that it was “no doubt very clever”, from which I was able to draw my own conclusions.
( Read more... )Textual revision
13 November 2022 02:39 pmOriginal (after editing at time of writing) text:
Another fireball, this one hot enough to graze my cheek.If his aim shook enough, I thoughtI'd shaken his aim enough, perhaps, that he might kill me without even meaning it.
My knees gave way, and. I sank down, not gracefully but in a clumsy overbalancedfall.lurch, caught my heel against the kerbstone of a grave and fell sidelong with bruising force. A deep, griping pain ran through my belly, and a deeper pang of terror cut through swimming senses.
Current, supposedly final revision:( Read more... )
High City on a Hill (Ch10)
15 October 2022 11:38 pmChapter 9 of Hertha was possibly the least successful to date, having been posted for weeks on both fanfiction.net and AO3 and garnering a grand total of zero reviews on either :-( (Either my 'regular reviewers' didn't like the chapter, or else they were away -- I am fairly certain that the FFnet reviewer hasn't even read it, because her country wasn't showing up at all in the stats, and the sample size is so small that I can usually identify individual non-Americans...)
However despite the lack of incentive I did finish typing up and tweaking Chapter 10, in which Hertha ends up giving Christine a lift to her father's grave; I had some trouble splitting these scenes, so we've got half a chapter here and then the rest of the graveyard adventure in the next chapter.
Chapter 10 — “Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again”
I had grumbled over the chill and discomforts of Beauvais. It was hard to admit, even to myself, that my father’s familiar apartments on the Place Clignot-les-Pins seemed to have grown narrow and dark and constricted after the space and luxury I’d grown used to in the Hôtel Chagny as a Vicomte’s wife. Father was glad to see me, and grateful for the company, but there was a constraint between us that had not been there before, and my thickening body was only yet another reminder that I was no longer the girl who’d left this house for her wedding over a year ago.
The childhood books that had once held comfort were battered now and more shabby than I’d remembered, torn pages a sharp reminder of how Rudi and I had once squabbled over their possession. The French novels I’d been reading at nineteen, when I’d thought myself so sophisticated, had lost their glamour and revealed themselves as shallow and foolish or cynical by turns. My bedroom had not changed since last I lived here —though I shared it now, as I’d suspected, with an overflow of boxes from my father’s study that he’d failed to find space for elsewhere— but it felt as if it had belonged to someone else entirely.
( Read more... )But I did get another 2 guest-kudos, which by the nature of things presumably has to indicate fresh readers.
I still haven't even got round to making the trip to update the story on FFNet, at least partly because I keep telling myself I'm going to write those reviews for the other entrants in the Narrative Voices challenge... and not doing it. So I have no idea what the viewing stats are on the Sunset Boulevard story -- or even who the one person who apparently favourited it was, since the email alerts were broken at that point! I did get a lovely review from Mei Bruges, though (to which I still haven't replied either...)
[Edit: about 40 hits on FFnet, plus another unexpected review. I forgot to check on the favourite, though!]
High City on a Hill (ch9)
17 September 2022 07:59 pmI sat down to try to write my long-overdue reviews on my fellow-competitors' stories for the Writers Anonymous challenge, having eventually succeeded in downloading them via the library for offline reading despite the worst that FFnet could do, but completely failed to do so -- however I have, instead, finally managed to finish typing up and checking the next chapter of Hertha back against the manuscript. And I have also -- as of September 2nd -- managed to complete the rewrite on Chapter 24 of Arctic Raoul (after three months of delay) and even got as far as typing up the first scene of Ch25, although I still have another two scenes comprising a total of 3,500 words or so to be typed. (Those chapters are definitely getting longer and longer, and it massively inflates the editing time because the prospect becomes so daunting...)
( End of Phantom's Broadway run )
Chapter 9 — “Well-Beloved Wife”
As I’d anticipated, Raoul returned to follow me out almost before the carriage had been brought round. He looked tired and rather dispirited despite the splendour of his costume, and was disinclined to talk even once we were seated and driving back.
Madame Giry had been less than helpful, I gathered. She’d disclosed what she’d heard or guessed about the Ghost’s origins — a carnival freak and deformed genius who’d gone missing years before, evidently quitting the sideshow life to take up existence outside the law — but she’d said nothing of how she came to be delivering his notes, or of where he could be found, and Raoul was convinced she had to know more than she was telling.
“You know, carnival origins could explain quite a lot.” Despite myself, I found my interest caught. “Not least the use of mesmerism. And the oddly theatrical flair — this isn’t just lunacy, it’s an insane performance.”
( Read more... )Stats and Progress
24 August 2022 02:01 amI went to the library to access FFnet (and retrieve some old PMs), and took the opportunity to download copies of the monthly and legacy stats pages for "High City on a Hill". When I got them home and tried to load the files, I discovered that all I had was a couple of Cloudflare pages displaying "fanfiction.net needs to review the security of your connection before proceeding"! I should have simply saved the HTML tables out as text, and reformatted the data back into table form myself...
However, from memory both sets of data confirmed a fairly consistent figure of about 30 hits taking place on every new chapter; there were also about six people who read all the chapters of the story this month, either in order to refresh their memories after the long gap in publication or because it was the first time they had come across the story. ( pasted stat tables )
( AO3 )
In good -- indeed excellent -- news, I have actually managed to progress as far as rewriting the first few paragraphs of my 'flashback problem' chapter in Arctic Raoul, while taking the opportunity to tweak a few of the other bits of wording in that section, something that really ought to have been done at the initial typing-up/editing stage but which was put off due to my structural worries about the chapter. (I also managed to remove a reference to 'dawn'! -- only one, alas, of many in the preceding chapters...)
Mei Bruges suggested that maybe the principal problem with the chapter was not the existence of the flashback[s] as such, but the fact that the entire flashback takes place in the gap between a question and answer in the 'present-day' scene, and indeed immediately after the first line of dialogue in that scene, which means that it barely gets a chance to 'start' at all. So I am trying to rewrite the opening to the chapter to be a casual discussion of their surroundings rather than an unanswered inquisition on Christine, in the hopes that this new conversation will provide a more relaxed 'gap' for the flashback to take place in. ( Read more... )
But after completing the rewritten paragraphs, I found myself glancing backwards in the notebook I was using and rereading the final chapter of "High City on a Hill", which happens to be there. I enjoyed it; I think it does work, and works well. (Now I just have to get that far in the typing-up!)
High City on a Hill (ch8)
12 August 2022 05:02 pmFive- and six-thousand-word chapters are definitely not a good idea, from the point of view of getting them typed and proofread... Here at last is the Masquerade that should have been posted weeks ago.
Chapter 8 — “Why So Silent, Good Messieurs?”
The great foyer of the Opera Populaire was filled with bright silks and fantastical costumes, as if some exotic stage production had spilled out from the auditorium and taken over the building with a cast of thousands. Masked figures were to be found gossiping in alcoves or pausing to exchange greetings on the grand staircase, and aging devils in tights and red horns danced together with angels whose wired wings were bobbing across plump shoulders beneath their haloes of gold foil. A Julius Caesar with a lopsided laurel wreath was conducting a flirtation with a demure Diana, who was fending off his attempts to lift her mask with reproving taps from the silver bow and quiver she bore. Waiters circulated amid the throng, and the orchestra ensconced in a corner behind red velvet ropes could be seen to refresh themselves from time to time in a less decorous fashion from brown bottles.
( Read more... )