Igenlode Wordsmith

When Americans write British characters: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QclgVeB6YDo

(You can practically play fanfic bingo with a lot of these... minus maybe the 'mac and cheese'!)

I'm amused by the greengrocers' signs advertising the availability of "Brockley" (broccoli) and "Obo's"[sic] (aubergines).

I'm not sure if the terminology is for the benefit of the vendors' comprehension or the intended customers... ;-)

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(Apparently my subconscious considers reading in French to be classified as 'work' rather than procrastination, as I've managed to get through a surprising amount of "La machine à assassiner" while attempting to do a beta-read/review for someone who flattered me into an exchange by seeking me out from the fanfiction.net critique forums...)

I discovered this among my papers, a typed document apparently composed when I was twelve. I strongly suspect it of being a cryptogram of some sort -- it reminds me very much of the bell-ringing code text in "The Nine Tailors" ("I thought to see the fairies in the fields") -- but I can't crack it. It's none of the obvious things like taking the first letter of every word, or taking every second or third letter in the message, nor is it a simple word game like starting each new word with the final letter of the old...

The other possibility is of course that it really is simply an exercise in random association while playing around with a new typewriter (if asked to 'type something', this sort of free-association is just what I can imagine coming up with), although the style seems rather forced for an experiment in gibberish!

Were we really in that noisome den? It did not seem like that other true Issac[sic] Newton type. Real eggs flowed down the drainpipe, while elephants destroyed other dwellings. No death should tear us away from this place, until our joints turned to glue, and our meat to bones. No longer should we remain here, forsooth, while no animal dwelt in the inhabited places. How could we find our own wits again? never can I see what made us come here, to this desolate, inhabited spot. Not even Clearasil would wipe it off. What a watery area this is! a girl wasted paper with nonsense. Nicholas! Could even you enjoy yourself? We are mad, and so say all of us. But I am mad, to type such utter rubbish.