igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
I just came across the most elegantly insightful aphorism (in the middle of a discussion of synecdoche† in fan-fiction, e.g. referring to people by profession or eye colour rather than name): fanfic is writing whose primary function is to be written rather than to be read.
† Edit: I'm not sure that is in fact the right term, but it was the one being used...

It is regarded as a means above all of self-expression rather than of communication, created to satisfy the need of the author, who "writes to get their own personal enjoyment out of it, with little thought given to what reading it feels like" -- a chorus of squee and flailing is nice to receive, obviously, but basically it is an outlet for the writer's feelings rather than an attempt to create prose that will draw an audience. (Who might not, for example, want to plough through several paragraphs of authorial analysis about the background of a minor character as an interruption to a dialogue passage, or conversely might be cringing every time they read badly-formatted dialogue or exchanges between "the red-haired marksman" and "the tall brunet"[sic] ...)
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
When Americans write British characters: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QclgVeB6YDo

(You can practically play fanfic bingo with a lot of these... minus maybe the 'mac and cheese'!)
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
I *know* that people feel that the originality and emotional impact of their ideas ought to be far more important to the reader than any minor nit-picking stuff like spelling, grammar or punctuation... but when I get asked to read a story where plurals are persistently formed using the greengrocer's apostrophe and every sentence/paragraph containing dialogue ends with a hanging comma (and indeed every non-dialogue sentence is a long run-on punctuated *only* by commas) -- I can't. I just can't. I don't care how good the content is, though the odds are frankly against it: the presentation makes it absolutely inaccessible.
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
Why do people write 'Messieur' instead of 'Monsieur'?

Why do they have absolutely no idea about how titles work in English, let alone in French? (Hint: they're geographical. You can't be 'Duke Wellesley' -- or even 'Sir Drinkwater'.)

Why does Raoul always live in 'Chagny Manor', when the French don't have manor houses, the house described is never anything like a manor, and manors are also geographical rather than having family names tacked on the front?

Why do they keep inserting inappropriate modern slang into the characters' mouths alongside laborious attempts to prove how 'period-accurate' their social attitudes are? (NB: 19th-century French characters did not think of themselves as 'Victorian' -- why would they care about the English Queen? -- and they certainly didn't walk around monologuing about oppressive 'Victorian' beliefs and clothing; they saw themselves as modern and in general more enlightened than anything that had come before them. Nobody in the 1960s talked about 'Sixties attitudes', for example -- they talked about 'modern attitudes', whether with disapproval or satisfaction.)



I suspect the answer to most of these is that the authors all copy each other in a game of Chinese whispers, just as they all crib the same bad sex motifs because they don't have any experience in that department either... but what exactly is the point of those unbearably cutesy titles all in lower case? Are they supposed to represent some kind of hashtag communication, or just a postmodern attitude to punctuation?
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
More rewrites, since I wasted a lot of time doing them...

He gloomily stared at the full moon glistening through his diaphanous window. Silent platter of the slim drizzle outside tried to derail his thoughts, but only succeeded in undulated muffles as those tiny trickles struck his window pane. His vision smudged and paved way for profound ruminations to take over. The warnings made by Mew oscillated in his clamored brain.
Read more... )
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
Oh dear. I stumbled across this one as the result of a Google search for something else.

I think it comes under the category 'wanks itself' (seriously -- it has little interpolated comments in it)...

Clearly an example of old school fanfic par excellence, from the Mary Sue's name to the vast slab of transcribed lyrics and the typos, tense whiplash and deathless prose ("She looked into his blue-grayish orbs"). I was confused by the M rating, but the author kindly explains that this is due to the 'cussing' in her comments :-p


The Ball and Christine Daae! [sic] )
igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Horizon)

Crossposted to [livejournal.com profile] phanwank

This started off a few months ago as an ordinary badfic retelling the script of the musical -- or, more likely, the movie -- in limping prose (Raoul: "I would like to talk you to dinner" [sic]).

For some reason I glanced at the latest update, and discovered a particularly ripe crop of malapropisms and some extremely bad titillation that was just too much to resist. I did resist leaving a review on the story giving my opinion of this masterwork, since it would clearly fall on utterly tonedeaf ears... Read more... )

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