Sequel blurb

[igenlode]

And... another rewrite, this time of a blurb that would actively put me off reading the fic in question (assuming that the writing style of the cover actually doesn't reflect the nature of the interior prose -- otherwise, tweaking the outside really isn't going to do much good :-( )

Decades after the death of Roj Blake, the Federation have located Orac on Gauda Prime, forcing the super-computer to send out several specifically focused distress calls that inadvertently brings[sic] together a group of outcasts, some familiar and some unfamiliar[,] under a young leader with a strong tie to the past. Acquiring a ship, the crew are fighting previously unknown adversaries and each other as their differing backgrounds and motivations bring them into conflict. Forced into action by circumstances beyond their control, the crew plunges[sic] headfirst into missions that put them in contact with an outlying society, the ruthless nature of the Federations[sic] expansion program and in the middle of a political and family feud. Pursued by new foes the adventures of the new crew lead to mistrust, death, and a familiar crew member finally finding happiness.

[This] is an unofficial sequel to the BBC TV Series Blakes 7 which ended its original broadcasting run in 1981. The publication is not-for-profit, fan created and does not intend to infringe any copyrights[...]

At the very least you need to get your singular and plural verbs correct when attempting to promote your content to prospective readers. ("The crew" can be either singular or plural, but not both in successive sentences...)


"Decades after the death of Roj Blake, the Federation have located the super-computer Orac on Gauda Prime. But their meddling inadvertently focuses a group of disparate outcasts into fresh resistance under a young leader with a strong tie to the past. Familiar and unfamiliar faces have to find a way to cooperate as they acquire a ship and are forced into action by circumstances beyond their control; pursued by new foes, they find themselves up against the ruthless reality of the Federation's expansion programme and caught in the middle of a political and family feud.
"Distrust, tragedy, and —for some— unexpected happiness lie in wait for them in these new adventures, constituting an unofficial sequel to the BBC TV series "Blake's 7" [etc.]"

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Good blurb! It feels compelling, and unlike the initial one, it doesn't read like a list of elements and plot points that make up the story. :)

Mei

[igenlode]

It didn't go down well, though :-(

I got the reaction "Saying you wouldn't read the book because of the prose style of a summary is of course your choice but a very negative and unnecessary comment in my opinion"... which appears to be missing the entire reason why you *need* to improve the summary, i.e. in order to get people to read the book in the first place.

People will very literally judge a book by its cover, and if the summary is off-putting then they won't bother reading the deathless prose inside. And they *will* assume that the style and grammatical errors of the summary reflect what can be expected of said prose, which is why you don't want even a single typo displayed there even on a fanfiction site.

I wrote quite honestly "I wouldn't read the book based on the back cover, because I'd be assuming that reflected the prose style of the interior, which would put me off", before suggesting a 'trimmed' version -- having seen the original blurb I'm afraid I shall definitely not be buying the book, because it comes across as very heavy going.

But when everybody else is going "This book will kick ass!!!!" and "I'd absolutely read it" based on the list of tropes, that means that anyone who suggests that the proudly-presented cover design might be in need of practical improvement can simply be dismissed as 'unnecessarily negative' :-(

[(Anonymous)]

I think it depends on the context in which the blurb was initially posted. If it was posted with a request for feedback, the author's reaction was, in my opinion, just another example of the let's-all-be-overly-sensitive-to-criticism-because-we're-entitled-to-having-our-egos-brushed movement. If the blurb was posted just to show what they've been up to, without asking for opinions, then, I would say your comment may have been a tad too blunt. :)

Mei

[(Anonymous)]

I also think the feedback culture on that platform (Facebook group?) plays a role. The 'feedback culture' used to be pretty good on fanfic.net ten years ago I think. Too bad I wasn't writing back then. But it seems to be non-existent on Tumblr, for example, at least in the Marvel fandom.

Mei

[igenlode]

Yes, fandom Facebook group. The context was 'here is the design concept for our cover, who would be interested in reading this when we go to print'?

Which I read as being 'would you read this book based on this cover concept?'...


Looking back at the original post, I note they *have* in fact now made changes to the proposed blurb ;-)
It's still a bit mangled and wordy ("they plunge headfirst into missions that put them in contact with an outlying society, the ruthlessness of the Federation's expansion program while also being caught in the middle of a political and family feud"), but it's a gesture towards saleability. To be honest, it does look as if it doesn't matter how the back cover comes across, as the fans are prepared to buy it on principle anyway -- of which I suppose one should be glad, as a continued sign of life in a very small fandom. And it's not as if *I've* succeeded in publishing anything to preach about recently :-(

[(Anonymous)]

Now that you mentioned how it was posted, my understanding is that the authors meant to say "we're publishing this story. Do you want to read it when it comes out?" rather than "would you read it based on the blurb?" :)
But look, it worked out all right. They tweaked it into something better as a result of your input.