Another rewrite

[igenlode]

Another rewrite (not so extensive this time) for someone who is 'struggling with an argument': as usual, I haven't done all that much to the actual dialogue, just tried to frame it in a smoother-flowing way. And fixed the actual errors.

"'Well you said the sigil looked fine.'

"'I wasn't paying attention. I expected you to be smart enough to remember basic kanji'.

"'You know I've always been average at everything.'

"'No, you're not!' Osu barked, and for a second, Kamitaro thought a compliment might be coming. 'You're not average. You're a freakin' idiot!'

"Kamitaro involuntarily changed into the kappa again. 'Don't pin this on me. You were meant to be protecting me. This is YOUR fault.'

"Osu's shoulders dropped at that and his face became expressionless, as though the anger had turned in on itself. His eyes flickered, hinting that there was a moment when he could have chosen not to say his next words.

"'D'you know why I've never liked you?' he asked darkly. His voice was low and his words deliberate. 'It's because you're fake, Kamitaro. Sure, people like you well enough. 'Course they do, 'cause all you do is reflect themselves back at them. You just say what they wanna hear, morphing yourself into whoever you think they need you to be. Nobody notices because they're too busy admiring themselves in the mirror that is your blank, hollow personality. But that's all you are, you're a trick of the light, a sleight of hand. The brat behind the curtain.'

"Osu's words cut deep. In just a few sentences he had managed to sum up what Kamitaro had felt his entire life. He had no idea who he was, what made him unique. So he had done exactly as Osu said, switching from one persona to the next, while never, not once, stopping to ask himself who HE really was.

"'Why should I care what you think?' he yelled, the words propelled by pain. 'You're just a vile, stinky old man who manipulates people for your own gain.'

"'Wanna know why I take this form, Kamitaro?'

"'I know why. So people will take pity on you.'

"'I choose this form because I don't care what people think of me. I know who I am and I'm comfortable with that. If people think I'm ugly, or unlovable, that's on them. So long as I know who I am, that's good enough for me!'

"'Kamitaro, now an amikiri again, opened his beak to reply, but Osu continued to talk over him.

"'You know what, I'm done with this. Just, go back to your sister. Tell her she made a mistake trusting you.'

"'But… What about your debt? You HAVE to help me.'

"'Forget it' Osu said, transforming himself into the beautiful woman. 'I'll find a less degrading way to pay off my debt.'

'Well, you *said* the sigil looked fine.'

'I wasn't paying attention,' Osu snapped. 'And I assumed you were at least smart enough to remember basic kanji.'

Kamitaro sighed. 'You know I've always been average at everything.'

'That's not true.' For an instant Kamitaro, astonished, took it for a compliment. Then Osu swung round on him. 'You're not average -- you're a freakin' idiot!'

Kamitaro flinched, feeling his form sliding back into that of the kappa. 'Don't pin this on me. You were meant to be protecting me. This is YOUR fault...'

Osu stared back at him, his face a cold, deliberate blank.

'D'you know why I've never liked you?' The words bit deep. 'It's because you're fake, Kamitaro. Sure, people like you well enough. 'Course they do, 'cause all you do is reflect themselves back at them. You just say what they wanna hear, morphing yourself into whoever you think they need you to be. Nobody notices because they're too busy admiring themselves in the mirror that is your blank, hollow personality. But that's all you are -- a trick of the light, a sleight of hand. The brat behind the curtain.'

And there it was, dragged out into the light: bitter and ugly and true. He had no idea who he was, what made him unique. So he had done exactly as Osu said, switching from one persona to the next, while never, not once, stopping to ask himself who HE really was. The pain boiled over.

'Why should I care what you think?' Even to his own ears it sounded weak and childish. 'You're just -- you're just a vile, stinky old man who manipulates people for your own gain!'

Not so much as a flicker of reaction from Osu. 'Wanna know why I take this form, Kamitaro?'

'I know why. So people will take pity on you.'

'I choose this form because I don't care what people think of me. I know who I am and I'm comfortable with that. If people think I'm ugly, or unlovable, that's on them. So long as I know who I am, that's good enough for me.' Kamitaro, now an amikiri again, opened his beak to reply, but Osu continued, relentless. 'You know what? I'm done with this. Just go back to your sister. Tell her she made a mistake trusting you.'

'But...' Kamitaro knew a sudden lurch of panic. 'What about your debt? You HAVE to help me!'

'Forget it.' Osu shrugged and shifted shape to become the beautiful woman once more. 'I'll find a less degrading way to pay off my debt.'