Saying "he moved at length through the room" in the first example doesn't even make sense :-( (I mean, you could just about say "At length, he moved carefully through the room" in the sense of "eventually, after a long time", but even so it would be hard to come up with an example where that phrasing would sound natural -- and I don't think that was the sense intended here.) The whole business of 'training his gaze', i.e. staring carefully and fixedly at something, doesn't make much sense either. If his gaze is trained on the front door all the time he would probably be tripping over everything in the room ;-P
Rewrites are under the tag edits -- created so that I could find them myself ;-)
And I've spent the evening caught up in scrolling through my blog myself, having now got back to 2019 ;-p Anything rather than attempt to rewrite that wretched chapter...
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Date: 2022-07-19 11:08 pm (UTC)(I mean, you could just about say "At length, he moved carefully through the room" in the sense of "eventually, after a long time", but even so it would be hard to come up with an example where that phrasing would sound natural -- and I don't think that was the sense intended here.)
The whole business of 'training his gaze', i.e. staring carefully and fixedly at something, doesn't make much sense either. If his gaze is trained on the front door all the time he would probably be tripping over everything in the room ;-P
Rewrites are under the tag edits -- created so that I could find them myself ;-)
And I've spent the evening caught up in scrolling through my blog myself, having now got back to 2019 ;-p
Anything rather than attempt to rewrite that wretched chapter...