igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
[personal profile] igenlode
I didn't mean to write this. And then I didn't mean to post it.

But it kept writing itself sentence by sentence in my head, until, well... there we are.

And other people get to post their shipping porn, right?

(Slight problems in writing because Carton is of course an unquestioning Anglican of his era, and I'm an atheist and tend to operate unthinkingly on different presumptions :-p)




It would be quick, he had promised her. There would be no pain. Probably there would not even be time to feel the blow. No more than a blink to pass between this world and the next.

Their lips brushed briefly, and then she was taken from his side. He turned for the first time to look up at the machine, and see her appear against that ugly scaffold that marred the sky; to meet her eyes once more and hold them with his own, so that from that high vantage point she need know nothing else. He found a smile, and saw her unafraid.

And then the blade swept down, and she was gone, severed from his sight in a motion too swift to follow. That face had been peaceful, and now it was mercifully not to be seen. There was nothing save a tumbled rag of dress, meaningless, to be heaved aside... and now it was his turn.

Rough hands tugged at him. He went up the steps without resistance, let himself be held and flung down. He had known what he was doing; had told himself he would not give way to fear at the last. She had been only a girl, and had lain here, and believed, and ended...

Only time stretched out, it seemed. He had not known one could wait so long for the unseen weight to creak up, and up, and up. There was a sea of faces, hostile, avid. The shiver of the breeze was the heavy onrush foreshadowed, on bared skin that flinched against his will. With every breath of air behind him he expected it, and it did not come.

He caught for thoughts of Lucie, and an image of her came before him -- not as he had last seen her, worn to exhaustion with horror and despair, but as she had stood before him once long years ago in London, with infinite pity and a plea in her eyes for his sake. It was then he had made that vow that carried him here. Had meant it with all his heart in that moment; meant it still.

And a great rush of certainty came anew to bear him on. Here, now, at last, he could make of himself a gift that she would take gladly, worthless no longer. Anticipation lost its chill and became an eager impatience.

This was a thing that only he could do for her. He would have flung himself into a tiger's jaws or writhed on a bayonet to buy her safety and happiness, but fate had not asked of him even that much. Had granted him in full joy instead this instant of knowledge and rest.

He was hers. Would always be hers, and finally that could be of value to them both.

~o~

There was no awareness of the moment of impact, as it turned out. But Carton would never know that.

He knew only the split-second rasp of the blade's fall, and the assenting leap that lifted his soul in answer.
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igenlode: The pirate sloop 'Horizon' from "Treasures of the Indies" (Default)
Igenlode Wordsmith

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